I’m not a good friend. I’ve realized this recently, and honestly, it came as a bit of a shock. I thought I was a great friend. Here is my thinking: If there is an issue in your life that involves several different people from different areas in your life, then the common denominator is you. Enter self-scrutiny.
Now, I know I’m a dark, twisty, sarcastic weirdo, but hey, I’m a hoot. And I know that I’m kind of a homebody, but I’ve been branching out a lot in the last year (read actually leaving my house). I recently had a holiday get-together, and people came, but not as many as I would have thought. Maybe it was the weather, maybe it was the flu going around, maybe people just get too busy around the holidays and I should have planned it for another time. There are a multitude of perfectly acceptable reasons why people didn’t or couldn’t come. Maybe it’s just low self-esteem? Nah!
Now I will say I was pleasantly surprised by some of the people who did come, and we had a wonderful time. I got to see some people I hadn’t seen in a while, but when you have to throw out large containers of bloody marys and sangria, clearly you over-estimated the attendance at your event.
Friendship gets harder in adulthood. Work, kids, spouse, illness, napping- all these things can prevent the best laid plans from happening. I know that I am guilty of a three year, self-imposed hibernation brought on by depression. It’s a miracle I have any friends at all after that one. I guess I just want to know what I can do to reignite the friendships that have stagnated over the years.
I’m not whining, even though it probably sounds like it, I am genuinely interested in the solution to my problem. Do I reach out more? Less? Have more opportunities for friends to get together? Simply call or text more? Seems easy enough, right? I should take my own advice, but I’ve never been good at that, even when I know what I should do. I can sure come up with a sarcastic comment about it!