Anxiety, bloggers, Family, Gratitude, parenting, Self reflection, Texas, Uncategorized

Surviving the fall- and other tough tasks

I usually use my blog to promote a TpT product or two. This is not one of those posts.

Fall is a tough time for some teachers. There’s the whole DEVOLSON thing (if you don’t know what this is, look it up on Pinterest- you’ll find some funny, and very true, stuff), plus the excitement of back to school is over, and it’s down to business. If you have any personal issues on top of this, it can be a lot to deal with.

I used to write a blog that was just about whatever I was thinking or dealing with at the time. It had posts about teaching and my family, but I also talked about my struggle with mental health. I was chastised for putting that out in the universe because it could make people look at me differently, and I’m ashamed to say I ended up deleting much of that blog before absorbing it into this new venture.

You can’t know how much I regret letting someone else tell me what was appropriate to talk about.

I suffer from depression and anxiety. I take medication. And I’m NOT ashamed. I wouldn’t be ashamed for taking chemo treatments for cancer, would I? So why would I be embarrassed or reluctant to talk about a chemical imbalance in my body that I need help with?

It’s a tough thing to watch one of your children deal with something that you know is extremely difficult. One of my daughters suffers from the same things that I do. I have so. much. guilt. over this. I feel like she is walking in my footsteps, and she didn’t know anything about the path. When she was in high school, she had the same suicidal ideations I had when I was that age. The same. Two weeks ago her illness manifested into something even more dangerous, just like mine did at her age.

So you can see why my guilt runs so deep.

Luckily, she and I have a good relationship, and she came straight to me before anything irreversible could happen. Thank God. She is getting the help she needs, and her dad and I are trying to do the best we can to help her navigate through this uncharted territory. The bad thing is that it’s uncharted for all of us. I know what I went through, but I can’t pretend I know exactly what brought her here. We can only go day by day and keep up the open lines of communication. I know we are all tired because of moving and different schedules and just life, but I also try to relax when I can because you can get run down so easily when emotions are heightened.

So as we move through the tricky territory we find ourselves in, I try to remember that I can’t take care of anyone unless I am okay as well. I want to encourage you to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself this season. Do what’s right for you every once in a while. Get a coffee at Starbucks. Binge watch some Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. Get a massage. Buy fresh flowers for your desk. Write in a gratitude journal. Whatever. Just find some time to think about what you need and indulge a bit. Pretty soon you’ll be concentrated on the holiday season and buying stuff for a bunch of other people, so take the time now to focus on you.

If you struggle with mental health issues, please find someone to talk to. Your primary care physician, a member of the clergy, a trusted friend. Anyone you can trust with how you are feeling that can listen and give guidance when needed. It’s important.