I Don’t Wanna

I Don't Wanna

I’m sitting here, having just wolfed down my lunch in record time, trying to get inspired to write a post. Lately, I haven’t had much to say. It’s been one of those weeks where every time I cross something off my to do list, two or three things get added. Finalizing first quarter grades. Setting up material for tutorials when we get back from break. Hanging stuff on the StuCo bulletin board. Getting ready to sell Boo Grams. Making the Red Ribbon Week dress up posters. Buying the gift for our teacher of the month. Running to Mardel because our laminator broke.

I know, I know. Boo hoo, quit your crying, we’re all trying to keep our heads above water. All I can think is, “Thank the good Lord that fall break is next week”.

Speaking of which, is it bad that I just want to spend the days in my pajamas? That I don’t want to think about anything school-related? I don’t want to make grand plans to deep clean my house, give away all our extra crap to Goodwill, and plan out the next semester of school (since next quarter is already planned and done- don’t hate me). I don’t want to plan a mini vacay, a trip to the state fair, or even a trip to the grocery store.

I want to stare mindlessly at the TV while endless episodes of Supernatural unfold in front of me, and Netflix has to ask me if I’m still watching. I want to eat junk food and drink soda.

All right, all right, let’s be honest, there is no reason in the world that I couldn’t make all of this happen. Except one. Teacher Guilt. Do y’all feel me? It’s that evil little voice inside my head that comes out during any sort of break and whispers, “You should be doing something productive. You should not be sitting here wasting the days when there is so much to be done.” As an English teacher, the least I should be doing is reading a book, right? Well, I don’t wanna.

Normally I would say, “Girl, you need an attitude adjustment!”, but not this time. The big buzz right now is self-care, right? That’s what I’m going to try. It’s called fall BREAK, so I should give myself one.┬áSo when I’m sitting on my couch watching Sam and Dean gank another demon, I’m not going to be thinking about how the grout in the kitchen would look so much better if I cleaned it with a toothbrush. As I’m sitting around in my pajamas eating ice cream with crushed up fortune cookies, I’m not going to mentally rearrange the linen closet.

I don’t wanna. This is my fall break mantra.